My Dear Youngest Daughter

My Sweet Hummingbird,

When I started this Blog, it was easy for me to find a nickname for the oldest and the youngest.  I remember asking you for ideas and you weren't sure.  We thought of "Bouncy" and "Squeak" and you didn't like that at all. You wanted to use something that sounded like your name but I said no.  Then inspiration hit me.

You are a Hummingbird.

Hummingbirds are small and light and they flit quickly from flower to flower.  They are constantly in motion...and that is you and has always been you.  I think you were the only one of my babies that liked having the bouncy seat on vibrate.  They thrive in the daylight (5:am wake up call) and then they sleep when the sun goes down (one time you went to bed at 4:pm and you refused to wake up for dinner, you slept  for 14 hours and then you were ready for play).  Hummingbirds are detail oriented.  They can hover, fly backwards and stop in mid air.  They bring in Joy...and do you bring in the JOY!

Your laugh always started from down in your toes and would bubble up through you.  You light up a room when you walk into it.  You may not get all the attention (as the Diva does) but people will seek you out to sit with you and talk to you.  You have a wonderful insight to different things...you always take a unique spin on what it is you are reading or working on.  You always have an answer.  Hummingbirds also symbolize the wonder at the universe and taking note of everything around you.  You have always had such a love and zest for life, and even when I tell you that you can't take another class or do another thing...there you are, doing it anyway.

You never forget anyone in your family.  Even when you were 3 you would ask for a lollipop for your sister.  Your sincerity is genuine and your affection and love is true.  You are a very loyal friend.  I think sometimes you try too hard to be everyone's friend.  You never want to hurt anyone's feelings but you do let them walk all over you.

You hate to be bored which is why you flit from thing to thing.  Your energy is boundless, like the hummingbird.  Its also why sometimes you suffer from anxiety.  You can't seem to turn your mind off and you are always running scenarios in your head or going over the schedule or a list.  You get a little bossy sometimes too if we "are going to be late" or "where is that book/website I need it RIGHT NOW".  You can't take no for an answer.  You will do it yourself if the answer is no.

In other words, the apple doesn't fall too far from this tree.

Today is your birthday.  I hope it is filled with all the wonder and joy that YOU bring to our little world.  I hope you are as happy as you make me.  I love you my sweet girl.  Happy Birthday, My Hummingbird.

Thankful and Grateful and Fine

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is the time to give thanks for what you have.  There is no yearning for more.  There is no sadness.  There is only supposed to be joy for what you have at this moment, right now.  A few of my friends made it their mission to have a moment of thanks each day this month.  I am going to do the same but in one neat lump.

I am thankful for:

1. Technology, so that I may talk with my sisters and family and friends and see them each day
2. My Diva, who is wondrous in her teen ways and who still holds my hand
3. My Mom and Dad, who helped shape me
4. My Grandparents, who I got to know and love and who still inspire me
5. My Sister, who I got to see grow up into the beautiful woman she is today
6. My Brother, My Aunts and Uncles and Cousins who make up my crazy family
7. My Mommy friends, who are the backbone of my world and who I cannot live without
8. My house and the town where I live and the great people who I have met here
9. The parents who help me run Girl Scouts and who inspire my kids to do great things
10. Scouting programs, which teach respect for the earth and helping our fellow humans
11. The Teachers who help me learn more about my kids and teach them wonderful things
12. The church community that I have reconnected to
13. My Coven who taught me what I know and make my soul dance
14. The crazy cats that share our house
15. My most wonderful Husband who I will always be in love with
16. My country, for all its flaws I am still grateful I live here
17. The seasons and the gifts that they bring us
18. Education and the ability to read and find truth
19. The Spirit that binds us all together
20. ME!
21. My Boy, who both makes me laugh and cringe at the same time
22. Having access to medicine and doctors and trainers and people who can help you
23. Having all of my senses and somewhat healthy body
24. The Creativity that flows through me so that I may quilt and paint and bead and enjoy
25. Music which has always been a true love of mine
26. My Husband having a job and in doing lets me be the Mom that I want to be
27. Access to good food and water and having a choice
28. Living in an age where I am a woman equal with men
29. The people who have touched my life, even in a small way, and that I hope I have done the same
30. My Hummingbird,  who lights up my world with her charm and smile

Thank YOU for reading ,

DM

http://blog.chron.com/thehumanreligion/2011/11/this-thanksgiving-develop-an-attitude-of-gratitude/

Its ALL a Choice...

There is quite the flap on the Interwebs right now about Michelle Duggar.  She is pregnant with her 20th (!!!!!) child and everyone is losing their damn minds.  She shouldn't have another baby!  She is denying her children a childhood because they are always taking care of her babies!!  She is awful AND she homeschools and she is a fundamentalist Christian (GASP!)!!!

Whatever...

She made a choice.  She is choosing to be the mother that she is.  She is choosing to use her body in that way.  She believes that God wants her to have all these kids...and nothing that we (or anybody) says is going to change her mind.  I would not choose that life.  You may not choose that life.  But it is her choice, because its her body.  The same can be said about abortion.  Again, I would not make that choice (and I am glad that I never had to make that choice) but I am not going to stand in the way of someone who wants to (and probably needs to) make that choice, because its not my body...its theirs.

There is alot of scary, scary stuff going around about women's health issues right now.  Some people seem to think that they can legislate what we can or can't do with our bodies, just because we are women.  They are mostly doing this to make abortion illegal but all of it hampers us as women.  It throws us back to a time where the men we married were "in charge" of us and we had to do what they wanted...and that could include having another baby even when we didn't want to because the men controlled the finances and we couldn't go and get contraception without them knowing.  Women now have the choice of staying home, or working.  Women now have the choice of breastfeeding or bottlefeeding.  Women have the choice of becoming pregnant or not.  We have the freedom of choice and that should never be taken away.

We also have the freedom of choice in our lives, too.  I choose to be the mother that I am (stressed out as that may be).  Other moms do not choose to do what I do...they make other decisions that I would never make...and that is ok because that is their choice.  After this last round of knee-crap I could've chosen to stay home and eat and gain more weight.  I chose instead (with the help of my sister/friends) to get back up and keep working out.  I have not chosen to give up chocolate (!!) but I have given up drinking once a night.  I need to make healthier choices, and I am slowly doing just that.  Because this is my body and its my choice.

You may think that your circumstances are such that you have no choice but in reality all the choices that you ever made got you where you are right now...all of them, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Your life, when laid out before you, is a set of all the choices you have ever made.  The kids that you were friends with in school.  The homework that you did or didn't do.  Standing up to bullies or fights you had with parents or friends.  It may be a little sobering, but it all makes you who you are.  It makes me who I am...all the Lessons Learned, Mischief Managed, and what's done is done and can't be undone.  And I do not regret them.  My choices got me to live in a great state (commonwealth), date a guy that I am still in love with, and have 3 amazing kids (no more, no less).  I have met many wonderful people because of the choices I made...all of us have.  There is great freedom in choice and everyone, from Michelle Duggar to a nameless woman who just got assaulted, should have it.  NO ONE should feel that they are stuck with no choices.

Freedom of Choice...is what you got...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVGINIsLnqU

Choose Wisely,
DM

I'm Awake

Its 3:30 in the morning on Tuesday and I am awake.  I am also sick.  I have been coughing and blowing my nose  for 2 days.  I feel like I am swallowing glass.  I feel like crap...and yet I persevere.  Why?  Because I am the Mommy.

The Mommy doesn't really get to be sick.  We kinda walk around in a daze and still do all the things that we do, like, the dishes, the laundry, the phone calls, the lunches, the notes, the errands, etc.  It never ends (at least it feels that way right now) and we have to.  If we are single we REALLY have to because there is no one around who can help us.  If we are married sometimes the other adult can't stay home and take care of us.  If you are working you feel the stress on those sick/vacation days and wonder if you can possibly take one more...just to feel better.

I went to bed early for 2 days (as close as I get to being off) and now I am awake when the world is asleep...super.  Now I am thinking of all the things I can get done (hey look, you haven't written in the Blog!) while I am walking around with a cold and no one is bothering me.  This is the life of the Mom...

Moms are really really good at taking care of their children.  Sometimes they are really good at taking care of their friends and partners.  They are super crappy at taking care of themselves.  When you are in the trenches of taking care of kids - all kids babies up to teens - you just don't think of yourself as a person.  You are Mom first and so you continue on...or you feel guilty that you are on the couch while the poor 13 year old is washing a dish.

The thing is we Moms desperately need our rest.  If we are sick we need to take care of US.  If we are the engine of the train that is our life we really need to make sure that all of the gears work.  Sometimes that means getting help, asking for help, or taking a breath from the lives that we force on ourselves.

Even though I am awake when I should be asleep I have already looked up a phone numbers for the morning and sent an email.  I will likely go downstairs and flip the laundry.  However I am actually drinking lemonade to soothe my throat.  For me, that is HUGE.  I urge any mom who isn't feeling well to take a minute and get the medicine you need...because you can't take care of your world if you are feeling this way.

I am going to refill this glass and put a blanket on me so I can watch some TV.  Feel Better and Carry On.

Peace
DM