I have been busybusybusybusy. My family has not been very cooperative. The schedule has not been very cooperative It has been just a race around town coupled with the occasional "Oh CRAP! When did we run out of (insert something of great importance that you need right now)?!" On top of little emergencies (and big ones) I have not had a chance to breathe or have a moment to think.
Samhain is this weekend and I will have a chance to breathe. My Coven Sisters come to my house and We eat and drink and we have time to talk of our lives and our spirituality. We will have time to do ritual. We will have time to just sit. I am hoping that we get a call from my California Sister on Sunday night and we can be in circle together. We will trick or treat together on Monday evening with all 7 kids (our own personal chaos cloud) and hopefully we will remember to bring a drink or 2 (Hot Toddies may be appropriate).
On Sunday at the UU church I will be helping the community celebrate Samhain. I didn't write a meditation about death and dying but rather on fear. We all have fears and we all get afraid. Fear can hold us back. Its what holds our hearts...this "what MIGHT happen" can even stop us from living. Sometimes the fear is founded: watching a childhood friend choke to death and then being super aware about whatever goes in your kid's mouths. Sometimes the fear is not: just because a child got taken on a street 300 miles from you doesn't mean you can't send your kids outside alone in their backyard. Fear can make us do stupid things: following a school bus to school because you think it may get into an accident. Fear can also make us to smart things: little plastic bits in electrical sockets so that the toddler does not hurt himself or burn the house down.
Fear is a part of life. The fear that I want to talk about is the fear of ourselves. Humans are creatures of habit and when we are used to something we want to keep it that way. It takes alot to change. We are afraid of ourselves...what MIGHT be if we stopped being afraid. Well? What might be if we stopped being afraid? Would life get brighter and better or would you say "I knew it...bad things always happen!"
I believe that we write our own life. I believe that if you think that bad things always happen then they will. I believe that you can always find the good in a situation and concentrate on that good. I believe that even in the darkest times in our lives we can choose to be brave and to say "no" and not roll over. Things weren't always meant to go your way but the way you deal with them says a lot more about you than you think.
Hiding away from what may be isn't the answer.
Saying that life will never change isn't the answer.
Thinking that things will always be this way isn't the answer.
Living is the answer. Going forward and choosing to NOT be afraid and do something about your misery is the answer. People are funny. If you ask for help you may just get it. You may think that no one likes you and you can't...and you may be very wrong. If you stop making excuses you may just find that life is more livable. You need to stop fearing the unknown.
So get comfortable and take a moment and name your fears. Write them down. Keep them in mind as you go about your day. How much do they effect you? At the end of the day rip up the paper and let them go. They aren't in charge of you. They are not necessarily your friends. They may be what is holding you back from being the best you.
Keep this in mind... all the little monsters come to your door this Halloween are a type of fear. If you give them a little candy they will go. Let them.
Blessed Samhain,
DM
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