I am a fairly healthy plus sized woman. I don't sit around all day and eat lots of snacks. I do indulge in wine or beer almost every night, however, we are talking 1 or 2 not the whole bottle/six pack. I don't drink soda. I do drink 1 cup of coffee a day and its espresso because I am a coffee snob (its a symptom of running a cafe when I lived in NYC). I have 3 kids and I am very involved with them. I am a Girl Scout leader and I believe in Scouting as a great program, so even though I am NOT a Boy Scout leader my son goes to Scouts. I enjoy hiking. I love to dance. It brings me peace and joy when I dance...a moving meditation if you will. When I sit still I fall asleep because I have been active in my mind and in my body all day.
I have had knee surgery before and each time I was told to "get my weight down". In order to do that you need exercise and a healthy diet right? So I do that and then my other knee will have an issue...and then I am told to "get my weight down". It is a cycle of madness. I started to work out this summer. I was watching what I was eating and working out 4 times a week, walking, machines, dancing, weights, aerobics...and now my knee has gone out again and I need surgery AGAIN. And like magic the doctor said "You have to get your weight down." Yeah, I know...
First of all, I have lived in this body for many moons now...I think I know I am not (nor will I ever be) a size 8. Pointing it out to me makes me - in no particular order - sad, ashamed, angry, depressed, embarrassed and rebellious (oh yeah well I will go to KFC and eat a WHOLE BUCKET of chicken...I'll show you who's fat!!). I am not the size of a circus tent however, I don't need a crane to get me out of the house. I am not an old lady whose bones are so brittle the wind blows and they break. I am a "middle aged active woman" and I don't think any doctor really knows how to deal with that.
Secondly, I WAS IN PROCESS OF DOING THAT WHEN I GOT INJURED!!
I understand the doctors are trying to help, but telling me that I "need to get the weight down" does not help. When I tell them what exercise I like to do they look at me and say I "can't". I "can't" dance, do yoga, go walking outside, bike outside and absolutely no jogging. When I asked him what I CAN do he looked at me like I have 3 heads. I had to pull teeth to get an answer the other day. I CAN swim (bleh) I CAN walk on a treadmill (?) and I CAN bike on a stationary bike (??). Wait...What? The Doc would prefer that I don't do these same activities outside because of problems with the roads...but if I know where I can walk outside where there are no bumps or hills or pitfalls that should be okay, right? No answer...
I can't seem to get a straight answer from a physical therapist either. I think that they are used to working with people who are always stationary. I tried to go to a sports therapist but I wasn't thrilled with the price or the utter lack of enthusiasm (mmm, you aren't thin so you must not understand what you want). Its really not that hard and I can't explain it any better than I already have. I am an active middle aged woman. I have 3 kids and I have to chase them. I like to hike and dance. FIX ME SO I CAN DO THESE THINGS!!
*sigh* I need to schedule surgery before I injure myself further. I don't know when that would be "convenient" to my schedule because I am (and my kids are) active and we have a lot of stuff already on the schedule for the fall. I don't know what to do about workouts now either. Usually I fall back on food and eat badly, but I don't want to and so the cookies and candy aren't being touched...and through all of this I am not losing weight or gaining weight. I have maintained the same weight for 3 years (I just had a physical and it was confirmed). It is a cycle of madness and I want off the cycle.
I want to be given helpful advice from a Doc who understands what it is that I do. I want to know what the best course of action is on diet and exercise that will make me happy and fit. I want to be congratulated on not blowing up to the size of a small car because every so often I go out to eat. I don't want to be a buff bodybuilder...I just want to be the best me I can be.
So why does that feel like its too much to ask for?
I can COMPLETELY relate. My doctor never lets a visit go by without telling me that I would feel better if I lost weight. I ask her, aside from practically starving myself, what else I can do - I dance twice a week, I do yoga at home, I stretch every day, I don't eat junk food - I have also maintained the same weight (give or take 5lbs) for the last several years, and I consider myself relatively healthy, minus the fibromyalgia-related stuff. She never has any ideas. It's all SO frustrating.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Because of my multiple physical issues, I was told that pretty much the only exercise I'm allowed to do is swim, and only mildly. I'm not allowed to bring my heart rate up too much. But lose weight. Umm? I already only eat at the most, twice a day, and one is a bowl of cereal. Until they develop a belly button mounted fat sucker for my Hoover, they're outta luck on that front!
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