Oh you Girl Scouts...

When I was a kid, I was signed up for Girl Scouts...and I loved it.  As a lonely kid with very few friends (and alot of people who teased me) Girl Scouts was a place where I belonged, where my ideas were heard and where I got to be creative and learn new things (and I got to wear my Girl Scout uniform to school, and as anyone would tell you who went to Catholic School *ANY* excuse to not wear your uniform - even if it was another uniform - was awesome).  My Girl Scout leader - Mrs. G - was wonderful and she took me aside on a few occasions and gave me confidence to be a better person, to be true to my creative self and to be a leader.


And here I am, many moons later, being a leader.  


I have been a leader for as long as Mrs. G was to my troop - 8 years to my Cadettes and 5 years to my Juniors (yes, I am *that* insane) and they show NO SIGNS OF QUITTING...ack!


I have friends who are GS Leaders and I always feel like I have to be better than them.  Why?  We are all in this together and we should be doing what we can to support each other.  I think I am supportive but then I hear about someone's award or leader training and I think "OMG I have to do that!  She can't be better at this than me...blah blah blah."


Well, being a GS leader is alot like being a Mom or Witch.  NO ONE IS DOING IT BETTER.  We are all doing it the way that works for us...the way the path needs us to go.  Case in point - My Cadettes told me at the beginning of this year that they didn't want badges...they wanted to explore and have fun.  We had a GREAT year (when I got to see them, they are busy middle schoolers after all).  They told me back in 4th grade that they didn't want the Bronze Award...and that was OK!!  I really like who these girls are and who they are becoming.  Getting or not getting an award won't make them any less Girl Scouts...and it doesn't make me any less of a leader either.


My Juniors are a very motivated bunch of girls.  They are on every team in the town.  They want to do the Bronze Award and they want to do EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD.  And because I am *that* insane I take on too much and try to out-compete whoever it is that I am competing with.  I don't know why I think I have to be extra ridiculous with the Juniors...maybe a part of me is showing off, maybe their motivation and ambition are catching...I don't know.


There is a part of me that enjoys Girl Scouting even more as an adult.  Its a way to build confidence in girls and to have them be a part of the greater sisterhood.  But I am getting tired and I am running myself ragged with the hopes that everyone is doing fine, liking what we are doing, and hoping that everyone likes me.  Which in turn means I have stopped doing alot of this for the JOY and started doing alot of this for the I HAVE TO...and that doesn't make for good leading or learning.


Next year will be my 9th year being a leader.  All of my girls want to continue (again - ack!).  I have closed my troops so that I get to know my girls better.  My plan is to do 2 overnights (Encampment and a museum trip) and alot of community service.  I am not planning any day trips or hikes.  Just 2 meetings per month where we work on a badge or planning our community project.  That is my goal. 


This is what I need to keep in mind...what my inner Goddess/GS Leader tells me...I will always want to be appreciated and get that huge bouquet of champagne at the end of the year.  I just will and there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make me selfish or rude to want that.  But, I also know, when those girls told me yesterday that they want to continue Scouting and that they were looking forward to next year that that is also a bouquet.  And just because I can't look at that bouquet sitting on my table it doesn't mean I didn't receive it...


With my Brownie Smile, 
DiannaMoon