Blessed Ostara!

A Very Blessed Equinox to you!

Strength of Sun begins to grow, Seeds in dirt we set to sow.

Welcome signs of Spring's rebirth, New life emerges on the Earth.

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That's nice....isn't it?  But what if you are NOT feeling it?

There are changes happening but they involve people other than yourself and trying to work on yourself when you are in charge of 3(4) people is very difficult indeed.

No one said that there would be all this paperwork and scheduling.  No one said that there would be all of this frustration and angst.  No one said how lonely the whole thing would be and how you would lose perspective of what you looked like and presented to the world.  

A lot of it is growing pains, of cracking open the hard earth to let in water and change how you are and think.  That is spring.  Is this how Mother Earth feels?  Winter had all of us inside and she can handle a few rabbits and squirrels here and there...But once the sun gets warmer outside she has alot more to think about...more animals to tend it to and take care of.  More water and mud to watch out for.  More people walking around.  She probably enjoys the life forming but don't you think it would be hard to schedule all of that?   Can you imagine scheduling all of that?  More sports and more activities and planning for summer...I know I get frustrated and lost in the chaos...imagine what she feels like!

GAH!

I think spring always does this to me because of the sudden ramping up of EVERYTHING plus the annual "but I want to look good in a bathing suit this summer" ritual of trying to lose weight and get better about being healthy.  It is never gradual *and* it always happens when I am not ready for it.  February is fine and nice and then March hits and there are a few things and then April and BOOM...there is no more time and you are in the middle of...chaos.

GAH, indeed.

I am not going to sit here and say that we should embrace the chaos.  What I am going to say is, I feel the chaos and that it is overwhelming.  I will also say that I will do my best to take a moment everyday to see the miracle of life right before us as trees blossom and flowers bloom.  I just may be doing that in the car driving a little person to some activity or another (I know other moms who will be doing it on the soccer field).  And that is ok...Because spring is still here and that is life.  And life, no matter how chaotic, is good.