January Blues

Its right there after the stress of the holidays but before spring...Sweet, Sweet January.  I look forward to January ALL DECEMBER.  Let's face it, I am a mom and I have a schload to do for the holidays (including a birthday for one of my own kids) then there are family obligations and travel then New Year's and then the kids are back in school and suddenly I am alone.

*happy sigh*

Slowly, the aloneness starts to get to me.  It may be little things like a load of laundry Every. Damn. Day. and piles of gifts that need to find a place to live, or the crunchy floor that even when you sweep something still remains (or the cat tormenting you by eating the dry food on the floor).  And I feel myself getting stressed and then depressed.

Then I go through the cycle of "But I have nothing to be depressed about!  I have friends!  I have family!  I have a good life!"  But truly none of that matters when you are feeling depressed.

There is an inside feeling of sadness and loneliness.  Its cold outside so you don't want to go out but you know you really shouldn't stay in.  The computer is wonderful but you sit all day and look for ANY email to come through.  You start playing mindless games (Angry Birds anyone?) and looking for stuff on the internet.

I usually go looking for political stuff but lately that has just got me more depressed so I try to go shopping.  What deals can I find on Ebay or Etsy?  What do I "need"?

*bored sigh*

When I get like this I know I need to snap out of it.  I make excuses though "I need the break" "I'll get to it later" "I'll wait until the kids get home".

When you are  in this state the best thing you CAN do is get up and get moving.  Break the tedium!  Even if its only for an hour...just go to the gym or outside and walk.  Go treat yourself to a cup of coffee.  Just go.  I know that for ALOT of people this is really difficult, especially for sufferers of chronic depression.  For me its not that extreme.  I do not cancel appointments or make excuses not to see people.  I am just listless in my day to day activities.  I don't call anyone to talk.  I don't ask anyone to have lunch or dinner.  I don't even watch TV.  I just sit and stare.  Sometimes its for 15 minutes, sometimes its seems all I did for the day is stare.  I wonder if I did anything wrong or why no one wants to hang out with me.

*sad sigh*

The January Blues are a real thing for me.  The good news, for me, is February is almost here.  Light is returning and Spring is on its way.  The bad news is that there are many people who are depressed and lonely right now and no week or month or holiday is going to change that.  If you can spare a moment, give a call to someone who you know who is listless or depressed.  If you can't do that, light a candle for them and send positive energy out to them that they may have a lift in their spirit and see the sun and walk outside for even a moment.

*determined sigh*

And now, if you will excuse me, I am going to stop staring and walk outside.
Peace,
DM