For the first time, ever, I am going to have family staying with me for the holidays. I am super happy and excited and I know I will not get a chance to write once they arrive. Fortunately for me someone posted a lovely article about Solstice and Wicca and I am going to give you a link and let you and me enjoy the holidays.
Nature is Divinity
http://www.cdapress.com/columns/sholeh_patrick/article_1fe33fd7-1c2b-55cb-b093-60cbd8097e32.html
May your candles be bright and light your way to a new day!
Blessed Be,
DM
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Honesty is such a lonely word
Thank you Dictionary.com:
hon·es·ty
[on-uh-stee]
Show IPAnoun, plural -ties.
Show IPA
2.
truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.
3.
freedom from deceit or fraud.
What does that even mean today? So many people show us false faces. So many business people tell us lies. So much of the media is here to deceive us. If we show our true intentions there are rightly fears that we could be branded a bigot or a traitor or an abuser, even if we are not. There are too many people watching and judging what we do and say. We only have one sensible course of action...to hide who we are or what we do. We hide from our friends (even true ones) we tell ourselves lie after lie after lie that it is ok, what we are doing, we are protecting them or the ones we love.
That is not Honesty.
Honesty is taking a clear look at what you are doing. Honesty means being vulnerable. Honesty means knowing that you don't have the answers and that you are willing to go find them or get help. Honesty can be brutal but wise. Honesty is scary but safe. Honesty is sadness but fulfillment. Honesty is being true to yourself down to your core, knowing your mistakes or issues and not pretending that they don't exist.
Honesty to oneself is the only way to grow as a person...to be a better person than you are right now. You have to trust.
trust
[truhst] Show IPAnoun
1.
reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of aperson or thing; confidence.
2.
confident expectation of something; hope.
4.
the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.
Trust is knowing that deep within you are being honest with yourself and others. Trust is knowing that the people you surround yourself with aren't screwing you over or talking behind your back. Trust is being true in spite of the fact that you want to hide or make up a story. Trust is being real.
Life isn't pretty. Life can punch you in the gut and wrench out your heart. I have been abused. I have been lied to. I have been deceived. I have been mistreated. I have been bullied. I have been made fun of. I have had people leave my life and I have been miserable about it. I have had people I love die. I have had pets I love die. I have had friendship end. I have had really shitty weeks. I contemplated suicide everyday for 5 years. I have lost jobs. I have failed.
AND I trusted that life had to be better than all that...and it has been.
I had to be honest with myself about certain things in my life and in doing so I was able to trust myself to make the right choices and live my life my way. My life is no where near perfect. The little things that I can't make better can still drag me down. Overall, I find my life acceptable because I am honest with myself and I trust those around me that when I am in need I can rely on them.
And when you are honest with yourself and you trust those around you then you have found love. Love of self, love of life, love of others.
noun
1.
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
In Perfect Love and Perfect Trust
DM
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
I don't always meditate but when I do I ground first...
I have been a practicing witch for over 15 years (getting closer to 20 - yow!) and there are many things that I may take for granted but I am always grounded.
What does that mean? Well, for me, it means that I am clearly here...I know my feet are on the earth, I know that air is filling my lungs, I know that my heart is beating and I know that my head isn't clouded up with 1,000 things...right now.
My head will get crowded up with all the things, breathing and heartbeats are forgotten about as I go about my day, my feet will run around going from store to store in the hopes of finding that perfect gift for The Hummingbird...but for one moment during the day I am HERE, I am PRESENT, and I am ME.
According to a great website - http://www.thrivemeditation.com/library/grounding-techniques.html
Grounding is a very simple tool --you create (imagine) a connection to the earth extending from your 1st chakra/tailbone into the center of the planet. It allows you to release other people's energy, pain you might have, troublesome emotions, sub-personalities, pictures, etc, through the grounding cord. It is very simple and very powerful.
Powerful? Yes. Simple? Not even close...
First, you have to be willing to surrender to doing nothing but feeling who you are, in the moment, now.
Second, you have to imagine the feeling of your feet in the dirt, or of being a tree, with roots in the earth, or you need to sit and imagine a tail at your tailbone driving into the earth.
Third, you need to push all your energy into the earth (feel it move to your toes and then out to the earth).
Fourth, you need to then pull energy from the earth into your toes and then into you.
Some people cannot for the life of them do this. They are too stressed and refuse to give themselves a break or they think that saying that they are grounded is all there is or they can't imagine the earth idea AT ALL so the whole thing escapes them.
Grounding is recycling your energy into the elements. When you recycle a bottle, it goes to a plant and gets melted into more plastic (or glass) and then it is remade into another bottle or something else. That is what you are doing when you ground and meditate. You are giving your bad, negative energy to the elements to recycle and then you are taking new energy from the elements - energy that isn't clouded with how many bills you have to pay or how to schedule your appointments. Just clear energy that should be able to keep you calm and focused for the day. If you are feeling overwhelmed or spacey or woozy taking a moment to ground may be the answer to go on with your day. When I have been feeling super angry, I have grounded to keep me calm. When I have felt exasperated I have grounded so I can look at the situation in a better light. When I have felt actual dizziness I have taken a moment to close my eyes and ground before I call the doctor or make a decision on anything.
No matter what element you are comfortable in, you can ground to it. Earth is best, because it is GROUND but...
FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE COMFORTABLE IN AIR:
Imagine a gentle breeze that you can control (like a mini funnel in your lap), fill this up with all your energy (blow into it, if you like) and then send it up into the air to be scattered to the 4 winds. After you are sure that your negative energy is gone, bring back the funnel to your lap and imagine it filled with clean air and breathe it into you.
FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE COMFORTABLE IN WATER:
Pour yourself a glass of water. Hold that glass in your hands and imagine all of your energy in that glass. Let the negative go into the glass and then gently pour it out (down the drain, onto the earth, or river, or ocean). Then fill up the glass with fresh water and drink it, feeling the fresh new energy filling you up. This also works really well while taking a bath or shower.
FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE COMFORTABLE IN FIRE:
Light a candle and sit looking into the flame. Feel yourself wrapped in its warmth. Very gently give your energy to the flame. The flame will take what you give it and burn it away. The flame will recycle the warmth and then you can pull new energy from the flame. You could also blow out the candle and then light another one or you can have 3 candle going at the same time, one for the release of energy, one for the gift of energy and one to steady yourself in the moment.
Grounding is so important to life. Physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally...all of these need care inside you and this is a great way. It is therapy, except YOU are your own therapist.
Stop and be at peace and ground yourself before you leave your house for the day...I think you will be glad you did!
Always,
DM
What does that mean? Well, for me, it means that I am clearly here...I know my feet are on the earth, I know that air is filling my lungs, I know that my heart is beating and I know that my head isn't clouded up with 1,000 things...right now.
My head will get crowded up with all the things, breathing and heartbeats are forgotten about as I go about my day, my feet will run around going from store to store in the hopes of finding that perfect gift for The Hummingbird...but for one moment during the day I am HERE, I am PRESENT, and I am ME.
According to a great website - http://www.thrivemeditation.com/library/grounding-techniques.html
Grounding is a very simple tool --you create (imagine) a connection to the earth extending from your 1st chakra/tailbone into the center of the planet. It allows you to release other people's energy, pain you might have, troublesome emotions, sub-personalities, pictures, etc, through the grounding cord. It is very simple and very powerful.
Powerful? Yes. Simple? Not even close...
First, you have to be willing to surrender to doing nothing but feeling who you are, in the moment, now.
Second, you have to imagine the feeling of your feet in the dirt, or of being a tree, with roots in the earth, or you need to sit and imagine a tail at your tailbone driving into the earth.
Third, you need to push all your energy into the earth (feel it move to your toes and then out to the earth).
Fourth, you need to then pull energy from the earth into your toes and then into you.
Some people cannot for the life of them do this. They are too stressed and refuse to give themselves a break or they think that saying that they are grounded is all there is or they can't imagine the earth idea AT ALL so the whole thing escapes them.
Grounding is recycling your energy into the elements. When you recycle a bottle, it goes to a plant and gets melted into more plastic (or glass) and then it is remade into another bottle or something else. That is what you are doing when you ground and meditate. You are giving your bad, negative energy to the elements to recycle and then you are taking new energy from the elements - energy that isn't clouded with how many bills you have to pay or how to schedule your appointments. Just clear energy that should be able to keep you calm and focused for the day. If you are feeling overwhelmed or spacey or woozy taking a moment to ground may be the answer to go on with your day. When I have been feeling super angry, I have grounded to keep me calm. When I have felt exasperated I have grounded so I can look at the situation in a better light. When I have felt actual dizziness I have taken a moment to close my eyes and ground before I call the doctor or make a decision on anything.
No matter what element you are comfortable in, you can ground to it. Earth is best, because it is GROUND but...
FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE COMFORTABLE IN AIR:
Imagine a gentle breeze that you can control (like a mini funnel in your lap), fill this up with all your energy (blow into it, if you like) and then send it up into the air to be scattered to the 4 winds. After you are sure that your negative energy is gone, bring back the funnel to your lap and imagine it filled with clean air and breathe it into you.
FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE COMFORTABLE IN WATER:
Pour yourself a glass of water. Hold that glass in your hands and imagine all of your energy in that glass. Let the negative go into the glass and then gently pour it out (down the drain, onto the earth, or river, or ocean). Then fill up the glass with fresh water and drink it, feeling the fresh new energy filling you up. This also works really well while taking a bath or shower.
FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE COMFORTABLE IN FIRE:
Light a candle and sit looking into the flame. Feel yourself wrapped in its warmth. Very gently give your energy to the flame. The flame will take what you give it and burn it away. The flame will recycle the warmth and then you can pull new energy from the flame. You could also blow out the candle and then light another one or you can have 3 candle going at the same time, one for the release of energy, one for the gift of energy and one to steady yourself in the moment.
Grounding is so important to life. Physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally...all of these need care inside you and this is a great way. It is therapy, except YOU are your own therapist.
Stop and be at peace and ground yourself before you leave your house for the day...I think you will be glad you did!
Always,
DM
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
My Dear Youngest Daughter
When I started this Blog, it was easy for me to find a nickname for the oldest and the youngest. I remember asking you for ideas and you weren't sure. We thought of "Bouncy" and "Squeak" and you didn't like that at all. You wanted to use something that sounded like your name but I said no. Then inspiration hit me.
You are a Hummingbird.
Hummingbirds are small and light and they flit quickly from flower to flower. They are constantly in motion...and that is you and has always been you. I think you were the only one of my babies that liked having the bouncy seat on vibrate. They thrive in the daylight (5:am wake up call) and then they sleep when the sun goes down (one time you went to bed at 4:pm and you refused to wake up for dinner, you slept for 14 hours and then you were ready for play). Hummingbirds are detail oriented. They can hover, fly backwards and stop in mid air. They bring in Joy...and do you bring in the JOY!
Your laugh always started from down in your toes and would bubble up through you. You light up a room when you walk into it. You may not get all the attention (as the Diva does) but people will seek you out to sit with you and talk to you. You have a wonderful insight to different things...you always take a unique spin on what it is you are reading or working on. You always have an answer. Hummingbirds also symbolize the wonder at the universe and taking note of everything around you. You have always had such a love and zest for life, and even when I tell you that you can't take another class or do another thing...there you are, doing it anyway.
You never forget anyone in your family. Even when you were 3 you would ask for a lollipop for your sister. Your sincerity is genuine and your affection and love is true. You are a very loyal friend. I think sometimes you try too hard to be everyone's friend. You never want to hurt anyone's feelings but you do let them walk all over you.
You hate to be bored which is why you flit from thing to thing. Your energy is boundless, like the hummingbird. Its also why sometimes you suffer from anxiety. You can't seem to turn your mind off and you are always running scenarios in your head or going over the schedule or a list. You get a little bossy sometimes too if we "are going to be late" or "where is that book/website I need it RIGHT NOW". You can't take no for an answer. You will do it yourself if the answer is no.
In other words, the apple doesn't fall too far from this tree.
Today is your birthday. I hope it is filled with all the wonder and joy that YOU bring to our little world. I hope you are as happy as you make me. I love you my sweet girl. Happy Birthday, My Hummingbird.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thankful and Grateful and Fine
Happy Thanksgiving!
This is the time to give thanks for what you have. There is no yearning for more. There is no sadness. There is only supposed to be joy for what you have at this moment, right now. A few of my friends made it their mission to have a moment of thanks each day this month. I am going to do the same but in one neat lump.
I am thankful for:
This is the time to give thanks for what you have. There is no yearning for more. There is no sadness. There is only supposed to be joy for what you have at this moment, right now. A few of my friends made it their mission to have a moment of thanks each day this month. I am going to do the same but in one neat lump.
I am thankful for:
- Technology, so that I may talk with my sisters and family and friends and see them each day
- My Diva, who is wondrous in her teen ways and who still holds my hand
- My Mom and Dad, who helped shape me
- My Grandparents, who I got to know and love and who still inspire me
- My Sister, who I got to see grow up into the beautiful woman she is today
- My Brother, My Aunts and Uncles and Cousins who make up my crazy family
- My Mommy friends, who are the backbone of my world and who I cannot live without
- My house and the town where I live and the great people who I have met here
- The parents who help me run Girl Scouts and who inspire my kids to do great things
- Scouting programs, which teach respect for the earth and helping our fellow humans
- The Teachers who help me learn more about my kids and teach them wonderful things
- The church community that I have reconnected to
- My Coven who taught me what I know and make my soul dance
- The crazy cats that share our house
- My most wonderful Husband who I will always be in love with
- My country, for all its flaws I am still grateful I live here
- The seasons and the gifts that they bring us
- Education and the ability to read and find truth
- The Spirit that binds us all together
- ME!
- My Boy, who both makes me laugh and cringe at the same time
- Having access to medicine and doctors and trainers and people who can help you
- Having all of my senses and somewhat healthy body
- The Creativity that flows through me so that I may quilt and paint and bead and enjoy
- Music which has always been a true love of mine
- My Husband having a job and in doing lets me be the Mom that I want to be
- Access to good food and water and having a choice
- Living in an age where I am a woman equal with men
- The people who have touched my life, even in a small way, and that I hope I have done the same
- My Hummingbird, who lights up my world with her charm and smile
Thank YOU for reading ,
DM
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Its ALL a Choice...
There is quite the flap on the Interwebs right now about Michelle Duggar. She is pregnant with her 20th (!!!!!) child and everyone is losing their damn minds. She shouldn't have another baby! She is denying her children a childhood because they are always taking care of her babies!! She is awful AND she homeschools and she is a fundamentalist Christian (GASP!)!!!
Whatever...
She made a choice. She is choosing to be the mother that she is. She is choosing to use her body in that way. She believes that God wants her to have all these kids...and nothing that we (or anybody) says is going to change her mind. I would not choose that life. You may not choose that life. But it is her choice, because its her body. The same can be said about abortion. Again, I would not make that choice (and I am glad that I never had to make that choice) but I am not going to stand in the way of someone who wants to (and probably needs to) make that choice, because its not my body...its theirs.
There is alot of scary, scary stuff going around about women's health issues right now. Some people seem to think that they can legislate what we can or can't do with our bodies, just because we are women. They are mostly doing this to make abortion illegal but all of it hampers us as women. It throws us back to a time where the men we married were "in charge" of us and we had to do what they wanted...and that could include having another baby even when we didn't want to because the men controlled the finances and we couldn't go and get contraception without them knowing. Women now have the choice of staying home, or working. Women now have the choice of breastfeeding or bottlefeeding. Women have the choice of becoming pregnant or not. We have the freedom of choice and that should never be taken away.
We also have the freedom of choice in our lives, too. I choose to be the mother that I am (stressed out as that may be). Other moms do not choose to do what I do...they make other decisions that I would never make...and that is ok because that is their choice. After this last round of knee-crap I could've chosen to stay home and eat and gain more weight. I chose instead (with the help of my sister/friends) to get back up and keep working out. I have not chosen to give up chocolate (!!) but I have given up drinking once a night. I need to make healthier choices, and I am slowly doing just that. Because this is my body and its my choice.
You may think that your circumstances are such that you have no choice but in reality all the choices that you ever made got you where you are right now...all of them, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Your life, when laid out before you, is a set of all the choices you have ever made. The kids that you were friends with in school. The homework that you did or didn't do. Standing up to bullies or fights you had with parents or friends. It may be a little sobering, but it all makes you who you are. It makes me who I am...all the Lessons Learned, Mischief Managed, and what's done is done and can't be undone. And I do not regret them. My choices got me to live in a great state (commonwealth), date a guy that I am still in love with, and have 3 amazing kids (no more, no less). I have met many wonderful people because of the choices I made...all of us have. There is great freedom in choice and everyone, from Michelle Duggar to a nameless woman who just got assaulted, should have it. NO ONE should feel that they are stuck with no choices.
Freedom of Choice...is what you got...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVGINIsLnqU
Choose Wisely,
DM
Whatever...
She made a choice. She is choosing to be the mother that she is. She is choosing to use her body in that way. She believes that God wants her to have all these kids...and nothing that we (or anybody) says is going to change her mind. I would not choose that life. You may not choose that life. But it is her choice, because its her body. The same can be said about abortion. Again, I would not make that choice (and I am glad that I never had to make that choice) but I am not going to stand in the way of someone who wants to (and probably needs to) make that choice, because its not my body...its theirs.
There is alot of scary, scary stuff going around about women's health issues right now. Some people seem to think that they can legislate what we can or can't do with our bodies, just because we are women. They are mostly doing this to make abortion illegal but all of it hampers us as women. It throws us back to a time where the men we married were "in charge" of us and we had to do what they wanted...and that could include having another baby even when we didn't want to because the men controlled the finances and we couldn't go and get contraception without them knowing. Women now have the choice of staying home, or working. Women now have the choice of breastfeeding or bottlefeeding. Women have the choice of becoming pregnant or not. We have the freedom of choice and that should never be taken away.
We also have the freedom of choice in our lives, too. I choose to be the mother that I am (stressed out as that may be). Other moms do not choose to do what I do...they make other decisions that I would never make...and that is ok because that is their choice. After this last round of knee-crap I could've chosen to stay home and eat and gain more weight. I chose instead (with the help of my sister/friends) to get back up and keep working out. I have not chosen to give up chocolate (!!) but I have given up drinking once a night. I need to make healthier choices, and I am slowly doing just that. Because this is my body and its my choice.
You may think that your circumstances are such that you have no choice but in reality all the choices that you ever made got you where you are right now...all of them, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Your life, when laid out before you, is a set of all the choices you have ever made. The kids that you were friends with in school. The homework that you did or didn't do. Standing up to bullies or fights you had with parents or friends. It may be a little sobering, but it all makes you who you are. It makes me who I am...all the Lessons Learned, Mischief Managed, and what's done is done and can't be undone. And I do not regret them. My choices got me to live in a great state (commonwealth), date a guy that I am still in love with, and have 3 amazing kids (no more, no less). I have met many wonderful people because of the choices I made...all of us have. There is great freedom in choice and everyone, from Michelle Duggar to a nameless woman who just got assaulted, should have it. NO ONE should feel that they are stuck with no choices.
Freedom of Choice...is what you got...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVGINIsLnqU
Choose Wisely,
DM
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
I'm Awake
Its 3:30 in the morning on Tuesday and I am awake. I am also sick. I have been coughing and blowing my nose for 2 days. I feel like I am swallowing glass. I feel like crap...and yet I persevere. Why? Because I am the Mommy.
The Mommy doesn't really get to be sick. We kinda walk around in a daze and still do all the things that we do, like, the dishes, the laundry, the phone calls, the lunches, the notes, the errands, etc. It never ends (at least it feels that way right now) and we have to. If we are single we REALLY have to because there is no one around who can help us. If we are married sometimes the other adult can't stay home and take care of us. If you are working you feel the stress on those sick/vacation days and wonder if you can possibly take one more...just to feel better.
I went to bed early for 2 days (as close as I get to being off) and now I am awake when the world is asleep...super. Now I am thinking of all the things I can get done (hey look, you haven't written in the Blog!) while I am walking around with a cold and no one is bothering me. This is the life of the Mom...
Moms are really really good at taking care of their children. Sometimes they are really good at taking care of their friends and partners. They are super crappy at taking care of themselves. When you are in the trenches of taking care of kids - all kids babies up to teens - you just don't think of yourself as a person. You are Mom first and so you continue on...or you feel guilty that you are on the couch while the poor 13 year old is washing a dish.
The thing is we Moms desperately need our rest. If we are sick we need to take care of US. If we are the engine of the train that is our life we really need to make sure that all of the gears work. Sometimes that means getting help, asking for help, or taking a breath from the lives that we force on ourselves.
Even though I am awake when I should be asleep I have already looked up a phone numbers for the morning and sent an email. I will likely go downstairs and flip the laundry. However I am actually drinking lemonade to soothe my throat. For me, that is HUGE. I urge any mom who isn't feeling well to take a minute and get the medicine you need...because you can't take care of your world if you are feeling this way.
I am going to refill this glass and put a blanket on me so I can watch some TV. Feel Better and Carry On.
Peace
DM
The Mommy doesn't really get to be sick. We kinda walk around in a daze and still do all the things that we do, like, the dishes, the laundry, the phone calls, the lunches, the notes, the errands, etc. It never ends (at least it feels that way right now) and we have to. If we are single we REALLY have to because there is no one around who can help us. If we are married sometimes the other adult can't stay home and take care of us. If you are working you feel the stress on those sick/vacation days and wonder if you can possibly take one more...just to feel better.
I went to bed early for 2 days (as close as I get to being off) and now I am awake when the world is asleep...super. Now I am thinking of all the things I can get done (hey look, you haven't written in the Blog!) while I am walking around with a cold and no one is bothering me. This is the life of the Mom...
Moms are really really good at taking care of their children. Sometimes they are really good at taking care of their friends and partners. They are super crappy at taking care of themselves. When you are in the trenches of taking care of kids - all kids babies up to teens - you just don't think of yourself as a person. You are Mom first and so you continue on...or you feel guilty that you are on the couch while the poor 13 year old is washing a dish.
The thing is we Moms desperately need our rest. If we are sick we need to take care of US. If we are the engine of the train that is our life we really need to make sure that all of the gears work. Sometimes that means getting help, asking for help, or taking a breath from the lives that we force on ourselves.
Even though I am awake when I should be asleep I have already looked up a phone numbers for the morning and sent an email. I will likely go downstairs and flip the laundry. However I am actually drinking lemonade to soothe my throat. For me, that is HUGE. I urge any mom who isn't feeling well to take a minute and get the medicine you need...because you can't take care of your world if you are feeling this way.
I am going to refill this glass and put a blanket on me so I can watch some TV. Feel Better and Carry On.
Peace
DM
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